My first ever love interest was a close friend of mine- Greg. We played together a lot, because our dads worked for the same company. It helped that we went to the same school both spoke the same two languages and were the same age. We would always play house in his back yard. It was a big grassy field and there were lots of yellow and white wildflowers. We used to pick them together and give them to our moms, it was cute. One day though, I'm not sure what came over me, I told him I liked him more then a friend. We were out back picking flowers when I said this and I can still remember the look of horror and disgust on his face. He yelled something at me, probably ew, gross or similar in meaning, then ran into his house. I was devastated and from that moment on I fled from him like the plague. I closed in on myself a bit and I guess this is what caused me to be a bit more reserved and shy. We never really talked after that, even when we got older. I feel bad and angry at myself. How could I have ruined such a good friendship! Me and my stupid feelings!
The next one happened a year later. The circumstances were pretty much the same, except the boys name was Micheal. Although we 'dated' for two years or so. Why do I have dated in quotations, because this all happened in elementary school. That time where kids are care free and childish. Anyway Micheal and I ended up getting into a fight at the end of fifth grade and broke it off. After a week or so passed I remember being angry at myself again. I ruined a great friendship, because of my stupid feelings.
If I was able to get close to one of the two again, I'd like to see how Micheal's doing. I remember he was great at this one video game that he, my brother and I would play when he came over. He did a great Mario impression too. I wonder if he still wants to be part of the FBI?
My final crush was quick to come and leave, because the guy was ten years older then me. It was my dads friend, who was single and really nice. I saw him often and maybe that's why I developed a crush on him, I think he knew too and that's why he teased me so much. My friend would always laugh at my blush, because I would be as red as a tomato when he talked to me sometimes. Then he moved and it passed. I saw him just three months ago, purely by accident. We met at the airport, he was there to pick up his sister, so we talked while we wanted for my mother. It's safe to say it was a childish crush, completely gone now. I felt nothing towards him, just a tinge of happiness for seeing an old acquaintance again after so long.
Now I have a new problem that's getting difficult to ignore. I've been aware of it ever since last year, although it has steadily been growing and becoming more annoying. It just frustrates me so much! The boys name is David and I find him to be cutie yet handsome in his own way. He's a bit nerdy, because he's into video games- League of Legends, but I have nothing against that. I tried the game myself to see what the fuss was about and I can understand it.
Davids a bit taller then me, probably 4 or so centimeters taller. He's got dark brown eyes a bit of a mustache and has really bushy brownish-black hair. It's like a helmet cut hairstyle, except it's longer and blocks his upper face sometimes. He's got a normal build, not over-weight, but not super athletic either. He doesn't really seem to be into sports. I know he seems to hate swimming or at least finds it a big pain in the ass. We have swimming lessons at school and he would always complain or make these funny remarks.
He should wear glasses, but he doesn't. He says he wears them at home and after I tried picturing him in them, it's probably a good thing he doesn't wear them to school. I'm pretty sure my face would be as bright as a ruby. His over all personality is really cool too. He knows how to be sarcastic, but isn't rude or mean with it. I didn't find out until this year that he's actually really funny. During english class whenever we do speaking in pairs we always end up laughing. I find that I look forward to english classes these days, which is something new for me. He can also be kind, but only when he thinks someone needs his help, or is his friend. He's got interesting points in his character as well, for one he can be lazy, but everyone is. He's just not afraid to say I wasn't going to waste my time with such an assignment. There's also the fact that he doesn't seem to care if someone has more authority or not. He tends not to care what the teachers think as long as it doesn't make his life more difficult.
At least that's what I think he's like, I don't know him all too well, although I'm slowly getting there. I sit with him in english class now and it's a lot more fun. I'm really glad I changed my seat. I originally did it, just so I could start talking with the guys I used to sit with last year. They're an all around interesting group, but I'll talk about them again later. I thought I got over my crush during the summer, but now I'm not so sure. I find that I tend to occasionally glance in his direction or just watch him for a few minutes a day. No, I am not being a stalker, I'm just checking to see if he's healthy or looks ok. I may have a crush on him, but he's a friend and I take care of my friends. These past few weeks my feelings have slowly blossomed and it can be pure torture! I saw his sleeping/ dozing face during history thursday and I almost melted. He looked so innocent and I just wanted to ruffle his hair so badly. God, I'm a freak.
It doesn't help, that I think he's slowly becoming aware of my crush which spells bad for me. Why? Two reasons, he'll play with me and break my heart (which I don't think he'll do) or I'll lose my friendship with him and the others. I really don't want that. Schools just a bit more tolerable with him and my slowly growing group of friends. I really hope I'm able to control these feelings, I don't want to scare him off. I hate this, me, my feelings. The fact that I sound like some love-sick puppy doesn't make me feel any better. Sigh, thank whoever came up with the internet, cause if not I think I'd have a break down with all of my thoughts running rampant in my mind.
Sigh, maybe I'll see you around?
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I wonder if my feelings will turn into something more........
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