A Surprising Source of Inspiration

    I know this boy, that I'm not really sure I can call a friend. Honestly, I know him fairly well. We went to high school together and I tended to bug him during english and computer lessons a lot. I enjoy teasing him, because he always reacts in the most amusing of ways. His personality is really different compared to other people and he tends to leave a terrible first impression. During high school he wasn't a teachers favorite that's for sure. He seems to have a gift of riling up other people, especially adults. I seem to be fairly immune to this super power of his. He just amuses me more with his behavior then scare me with his sharp tongue. I could write a ten page essay on him and probably wouldn't be able describe him properly, so I will keep it to one sentence. Imagine Severus Snapes' sharp, witty and sarcastic tongue on a guard dog- friendly to his family and vicious to strangers. That's Bell in a nutshell, more or less anyway. Oh, ya I call him Bell, because I decided to give him an obnoxious nickname.
    So, Bell and I have this strange/ weird relationship that I really don't know what to call. I didn't really expect to see him again after high school, because we really only talked during english and computers class. Than Aster got to me and well he's Bells best friend, so cause of Aster I see Bell fairly regularly now. Although now instead of being 'the annoying yet needed distraction' in school, I'm 'the girlfriend.' It means our interactions are a bit different and tend to leave me confused 40% of the time. I see him as a friend, but at the same time I feel he kind of hates me, so wouldn't that mean that my view could lead to a toxic relationship? I'm just a bit unsure. Sometimes I just want to straight out ask him, but I know I'll just get some sarcastic comment and it will clear nothing up. So I guess as long as I'm with Aster I'll have to deal with this strange thing.
    I guess it just bugs me that there is no clear line as to where we are. What I'm about to write is really shallow, but I tend to group people into groups- my family, friends, acquaintances, people that hate me, people that don't give a flying crap about me and people that don't know I exist. Most people I meet fall into the acquaintances category, until they are either shifted or I just lose contact with them. Bell though keeps shifting and somehow has made his own category, which peeves me slightly. There is something that I get out of this annoying thing I have to deal with- inspiration.
    How? Well whenever I meet up with Aster and his friends (Bell and the General) I always get some inspiration. Whether it's a story idea, a drawing or just a way to continue the story I'm writing at the moment. It always happens, which is amazing really and I'm quite grateful for it. Their interactions just seem to spark something inside me, even when it's just Aster and Bell. They have a great friendship, which I haven't really seen since my jr, high years. It's not your average run of the mile male bonding crap and alpha male who-ha either. Like Bell it's difficult to explain, but you go through it once and I promise you you'll be even more confused about their friendship. I always enjoy walking behind them and just listening to their conversations that would make any sane human blush/ cringe or run in the opposite direction.
    There used to be four of them, but he left them for a while for some reason. Recently though he has contacted them again and they've started hanging out once more. I haven't gone with them since, cause for some reason I feel as if I'd be intruding. After all I'm just 'the girlfriend.' Those come and go and I really would hate to cause any tension or unwanted awkwardness by my presence. A group of five just has less synergy than a group of four, so it's best to just stay home when they meet up. Hopefully I can still get inspiration from my own brain. After all I wouldn't want to end up relying on them for something like that.
    I'll just have to learn to ignore the small pang of sadness inside when I don't meet up with them anymore. After all they are Aster's friends. Me, I'm just an extra then and I value friendship more. I have few close friends and what Aster has with those boys, well it's really great and I would hate to get in between that. So I'll stay on the side and be the support character, that suites my personality more then being part of the main party anyway.

Maybe I'll see you around.