Where's your Confidence?

It's always so easy to imagine, it's when you actually have to do it that you falter.

You're mind conjures up images, scenes before you and you can't help but want. 

They're easy to do. 

Simple in nature and take only an ounce of courage. 

Not even that, all they take is just a little confidence in yourself. 

After all why can't you greet them with a fierce kiss? 

Is it really so difficult to be a little dominate and force their back to the wall?

You never start it after all, so why wouldn't they enjoy the change of pace?

You never do these things though, too afraid for some reason. 

It's a ludicrous thought really, they've been with you for so long.

They aren't going to leave just because you surprise them with
something new, something different, something potentially game changing. 

After all how many times have you wanted to share a soft kiss of affection?

Or maybe make a hug last just a few seconds longer,
even though you know you should let go?

How come you're never able to say THAT to them? 

Only able to reciprocate as if it were taboo for you to utter it first.

And these are just some of the beautiful innocence that you keep
locked away for your daydreaming mind.

What about the other thoughts?

The more lustful, passionate, bold ones?

They're there, you can't deny them, after they come to the surface
so easily on a lonely night. 

Distracting them by sitting in their lap while nibbling on their collarbone, before slowly kissing up their neck, kissing them passionately before slowly getting up and leaving the room. Hoping they take the bait you've dangled before them.

Waking them up, but for once not by tickling their sides,
but tickling something else with your tongue. 

The biggest one for you is starting it on your own. They always initiate it, it must be simple since they can do it so easily. 

Than why don't you?

What's holding you back?

 When the picture is crystal clear for you.

The both of you are talking, teasing each other or just cuddling. With ease you prop yourself up on your elbow and slowly start to kiss them,
before it gets more heated. 

You care for them, you long for them, they make you feel whole when you're together. So why is it so difficult to take that next step? You've been here before this isn't foreign territory for you, after all you had to decide
when you'd become intimate. 

They gave you that choice, you don't have to stop there. 

Show them that you want them, that this isn't something you give in to. 

This isn't done in reluctance or in the moment, because that isn't you.

You care.

For them.

For what's between the two of you.

For what you could become.

So don't hold yourself back.

It's not wrong, your thoughts are normal, maybe occasionally
controlled by hormones, but that's okay.

Take another step up.

You've already taken a couple, just look behind you if you can't remember. 

Holding hands, hugs, kisses, coitus. All of those steps are
behind you, even the big three words. 

So whats a couple more steps?