Run away....

It's cold and it's dark, but at the moment it really doesn't matter. 

Than again it hasn't mattered in a while. 

You stopped caring after your hope kept getting smashed to pieces. Each time you had a good day something knocked you down then kept you there. You thought it would get better, but it's only made you feel worse. 

You keep distancing yourself from everyone, playing a game with your outside emotions. Meanwhile inside all you feel is numbness.

It burns unlike the penetrating cold that greets you at night. It burns a hollowed hole inside you, reopening what was once sown shut. 

You can't ask anyone to fix it, not this time, not when you have to keep everything pleasant on the outside. You're so tired of keeping the peace, it's barely been two months, but all you want to do is run away from everything. 

Your soothing balm is out of reach. It's your own fault pushing him away, upsetting him, doing everything wrong. 

You always do everything wrong. 

While at home you tread carefully trying to keep a delicate balance. In your mind your trying to run from real life, looking for an escape. 

It's becoming difficult to cope. 

It's becoming harder to breath. 

It's becoming impossible to sleep. 

I want to run away from everything. I want to avoid everyone until 

I feel better again. Will I ever feel better again? 

All I know is that it hurts, right in the center of my chest where I feel a hole slowly searing itself into my soul. 

I'm a traitor and a coward. 

I just want to run away, break it off with everyone and never be seen again. That'd be stupid, wouldn't it? It still doesn't keep me 

from thinking about it though.