Dead Flowers

The spark is gone. 

It's still warm, comfortable and inviting, but the spark is gone.

There's no giddiness, no butterflies, honestly there's barely time.

The love is still there, but the passion and romance has long since faded away.

It's inevitable with relationships and at some point this is when some people step away. Searching for a new spark, but I'm sitting at a damp fire pit with my flit and rock trying to get anything going. Trying to get any kind of spark to appear again.

It's cold.

I try to surprise them with chocolates, little love notes, make their favorite dinner and doing all the chores, so that they can have a free evening. They never notice though. 

Sometimes it feels like I'm shouting into a void. 

At those times I start to draw back, stop putting in effort and that's when I hear something on the other side. It's quiet, barely a whisper, but I hear it and think 'They must have noticed!'

My efforts start up once again and the cycle continues. 

I'm getting tired of this cycle. 

It makes me wonder if I'm putting too much effort into this relationship. Or are my expectations too high? Would it kill them to have a date night even once a month? To hug me once a day and maybe even a peck on the cheek?

I'm tired of this cycle.

So instead, I slip back into a toxic habit.

Reading about relationships that have passion, love and comfort. Close my eyes and imagine for the night that I was in that world. It's a habit I'll have to break again.

But for just one night, I want to love and feel loved.