You went in for comfort.
Refuge.
You just needed a moment to clear your head, toss out the thoughts that kept pulling you under.
You got it for a moment as you tossed your clothes, locked the door and started the water.
You wanted it hot, steaming, blistering, gives you third degree burns hot.
You sunk in. Exhaling in pain, but you push through and focus on that pain as it wipes everything clean.
For one moment everything is silent and your mind wanders, to lazy summer days spent by pools, lakes and rivers.
You would swim down trying to touch the bottom before rushing to the surface for air.
You even managed to touch the bottom of a lake that one time, although your parents yelled at you terrified that something happened.
You had to stop playing that game after that.
Slowly you sink deeper into the water until its up to your eyes, nose just poking out.
A final breath
and your under.
Your kicking your feet as quickly as you can, arms at your side as you squint hoping to see the surface, but it's too murky.
You do a few strokes with your arms hoping you reach, but nothing connects, so you turn rushing to the surface as you feel your lungs starting to burn. Air bubbles flow to the side as you realize your swimming in the wrong direction and quickly change course. You think nothing of it as you swim harder, faster, but it just gets darker and more difficult to breath.
It starts to feel like your swimming in place, while you're trying to keep yourself from breathing in water. Where's the surface? It shouldn't be this far away? Why can't I see the sky?
When finally you get a glimpse of blue as you redouble your efforts, ignoring the screaming of your empty lungs, the blackening of your vision, you keep swimming.
Your hand breaches the surface and you greedily take in air too quickly, your body starving for it, coughing and laughing because it's okay.
Your okay.
It's ok.
When you feel something wrap around your ankle and pull you back under, farther then you were before. Where you can no longer see the surface again. Unsure of whether you can swim to the top once more.
